just my luck

wow...where to start... well after living at my new place for about a month I'm still not getting all my mail, especially the important stuff like credit card statements and hello BILLS! I mean eventhough I changed my address with all the companies by calling them a week before I moved AND I did a change of address with the post office AND I checked with the girl living in my old apartment my mail is seriously MIA!! Soooo after three phone calls to the post office and pretty much chasing the mail lady down I get an answer...apparently the old mail man retired and this is her first week on the new route so for the past 3 weeks we haven't had a mail person?? sooo my genius question was "then where the hell is all my mail?" her response... "uhh maybe central processing"...LOVELY how's about you get it and deliver it...I know what a concept! So now I'm frantically trying to figure out what bills I already have and which ones I need to call and track down the balances... great fun THEN my car decides hey let's start tweekin' out to add to my already stressed out day (dropped another $165 on books this morning and still need one more class worth, and finding out I have homework assignments due for a class that hasn't even started yet...wtf graduate school!!) So now my trip to Tiffin might be postponed because my car decided to start acting up and of course I know nothing about cars sooo this should be interesting... whatever today has been horrible... well except catching up with a childhood friend that I haven't seen in over 11 years!! I love reconnecting with old friends!!! but for now I have a killer migraine sooo time for a pill & sleep....

not ok

I walk around with a front that to the world everything is ok...but honestly I've never felt so confused and helpless. Have I just been wasting time and exerting myself for what is appearing to be a lost cause? I guess only time will tell, and hopefully thats soon.......as for now its back to preparing for next week's activities and trying not to get caught up in the mess anymore

busy week with friends

sooooo after talking with an old friend last night(which confused me even more but it'll work itself out) I realized that I need to spend more time in my life with friends, like actually with them instead of the whole phone calls and emails. So this week is shaping up to be a busy one but filled with friends :) I couldn't be happier or more excited to see where this week takes me. Tomorrow is another date day with Soraya after running errands. I love her to death!! We can talk about anything and I mean ANYTHING and know its alright and somehow we both understand exactly what the other is going through! She is such a great friend...honestly shes one of the few that have offered to help with the wedding that I know is legit and would actually do anything to help...crazy but we're only known each other for like a year or two yet she's probably one of the most loyal friends I have! Then Thursday is lunch with a friend from elementary school before my parents moved us to Wauseon...we lost touch for years but thanks to good ole facebook we found each other :) I can't wait to catch up with her its been way too long considering I was at her house about everyday growing up!!! And finally either Friday or Saturday its off to Tiffin I go to see my bestie Ashley :) :) About time I make a roadtrip to see her because I miss her like crazy all the time...but we're doing much better at keeping in touch this year thank goodness!!! Then Sunday is the first official meeting of US at Patty's with all the girls for some food and of course business and catching up. Wow...somewhere in there I have to keep on my schedule of working out and what not...should be fun and I'm very upbeat about the week to finish out!

frustrations and confusion

"you're so ridiculous".... is what I should've said but instead I took in all the bullshit and ridicule and internalized it... and that was my breaking point for the evening

have you ever wondered if you will look back on your life years from now and wonder what if?... I vowed to never have regrets and that's one thing I will always stick to... so its time to follow my head and settle some things...

thanks to some rational talk from monica I'm ready to face the music and get it done... time to clear the air and my head for that matter... it will be settled tonight!!!!!!!

updates all over the place

wow...its time to get back into the swing of things. let's see updates:
-Graduate school starts this coming Monday and I'm mixed... excited to be moving forward with my plans but I can't lie I'm not ready for the papers and endless amounts of reading and assignments but if it betters me in the end then its totally worth it!

-The girls of US are making headway with our plans, we have a First Year Experience presentation this quarter, a narrative project (which I am still trying to draft one so I can share it with the girls on Sunday...my bad), and a roadtrip in the making :)

-Andy and I got our new place last month and its adorable!! The new furniture finally arrived and completes this place :) We also bought a new 2008 ltz silver impala... I love it!!

-Since classes are starting soon I am no longer working (per fellowship guidelines) but I am trying to work it out so I can work at least 8-10 hours outside the classroom (10 is the most they allow) so hopefully that works out b/c I wanna keep the perks at the job hehe

-Wedding plans are moving along smoothly, we have about 4 locations to check into and then we can nail the exact date and finally fill everyone in!! I've found the bridesmaid dresses, and I've seen a few dresses that I like but I have yet to go try any on... but I've got time for that later. We are still making final touches on the wedding party BUT the guest list is seriously almost done which is a HUGE weight off my shoulders, except we need addresses like crazy but oh well.

-Over this summer I realized who my true friends were and although it was sad to see it happen some friendships were lost but better to surround myself with positive people then be stuck in the past and deal with drama.

-Family life is...well chaotic! My dad and I are working on our relationship, he even stayed at my house last weekend so it was nice, I guess it's never too late to start fresh. My mom is hanging in there, I'm trying to convince her to relocate closer so we'll see. Kyle's married now....and that's about all I have to say about it...good luck! I love him to death but he's made some decisions and hurt a lot of people's feelings that I care about so he has some serious mending to do before I will be alright with him. but best of luck.

hmmm that should be all for now...off to work out for the second time today... trying to start a new routine :)

overwhelmed but managing

feeling a little overwhelmed but managing but multitasking as usual, doing research here and there at work for huge upcoming papers, writing media journals for classes as well. lack of sleep is starting to get old but in 35 days I'm finally free (well until September and grad school kicks in) but it'll be a nice break!!

besides the endless amounts of school work theres the wedding that I am trying to plan and get things organized with the girls which is exciting :) but I am sooo tired of immature people trying to be involved in my personal life. you aren't there for a reason and honestly I don't have time for the pettiness. I am too determined and focused on fulfilling my goals in life to take time away from my success to stoop to your level. *poof* be gone :)

back to my busy life and homework....

full of things....

after lunch on Thursday with the director of transportation and public safety for the state of ohio things really starting looking nice!!! I extremely proud of my much older cousin's accomplishments and to know that family does look out for one another! Henry is going to help me possibly land a job with the state so I am totally excited about that...I guess good things do happen when you apply yourself instead of waiting for things to come your way you have to pursue them and network!!

sooo I like the new job, don't get me wrong but for the past month they've been having me work turn around shifts, like Saturday night I work 3-11 then Sunday morning 7-3 and clearly I don't get home much before 11:30 Saturday and have to be up before 6 on Sunday so pretty much Sunday is shot for me because I am too tired to do anything so finally after voicing this to my supervisor who informed me when I was hired they wouldn't schedule me like that (funny that lasted a whole 3 days) I mentioned it to my GM and other manager to hopefully get that addressed because every weekend is begining to get OLD fast people!!

other than that just wedding planning and giving advice to my ladies!! I dunno what it is but now that I'm engaged I am way more concerned with helping my friends with their boy issues than I am with my personal issues because I want to see them be as happy as I am now. Honestly these ladies deserve it after having to deal with my boy issues through the years!!! And recently I've been throwing some advice to my mentor about boys...cRaZy I know but its nice to be able to help her out even if its making her laugh about it b/c she has taught me so much!!

excited for graduation!!!

sooo looking over my classes I'm realizing that graduation is closer than I thought, seems like just yesterday I was starting college. I just can't believe three years have come and gone alreay!! In preparation today I went and bought my commencement dress with making make-up of course :) then while sitting at work I did some online browsing and found my graduation present that my dad said he was going to get for me. Well I found a few possibilities that he can choose from because he said he was going to come and wanted to get me something that I wanted because I deserved it after my hardwork. It feels nice to know that after all we have been through that my dad is proud of the woman I have grown to be and everything that I have accomplished so far in life. Although he wasn't there while I was growing up especially times when I needed him knowing now that he still kept track of me doesn't fill that void but it is something I suppose. Hopefully he sticks to his word and actually does come on June 8 like he promised. That will be a nice start to attempting a real relationship with him. So things are truely looking up for this girl and I can't wait to start another new chapter of my life!!

realizations....

sometimes there comes a point in your life when you realize what really matters... and let go of the petty things to focus your attention on the bigger picture. the small fights here and there just aren't worth the time or effort anymore... and you start to wonder if its even necessary to try and salvage it? most likely it isn't if it is a constant thing, just let by gones be by gones and let it go.... that's just what has been on my mind...

angry at OSU

so it is week 5 of my last quarter at OSU and I am getting madder as each class goes on. I have taken 3 courses in 3 different departments with completely different titles that have taught the EXACT same content, almost word for word I don't even take notes I just refer to the other class notes and yet for some reason they were all required and of course cost a nice amount. not to complain about the cost because I am on scholarships but I feel as though I am along with others being cheated covering the same content in all these courses. Why is it that the administration only teaches the "safe' topics in the field of psychology and we don't learn about the types of things we are likely to face in our careers? Realistically we aren't going to be dealing with the happy-go-lucky cases we hear about in class but never talk about the disturbed individuals? How is that supposed to prepare us for life after college? Maybe I am just bitter because having taken classes at a different college prior to OSU the structure and topics that were covered were different and actually explored those gray areas I now see what is missing. Oh well thats all for now... just remember to question what is presented and always search for the answers beyond what is given.

frustrated and tired...great way to start

sooo after working until 11 last night I am back here again 7-3 today... the job is fine but the hours are killing me!! Working 40 hours a week at this job and aother 5-6 at the internship and having strictly two days off (the two days I have class from 9-9) isn't working... I requested a reduction in hours until I graduate to drop down to 32 hours that has to be granted or else I dunno...lets not have that happen..

I'm just cranky and tired for now... waiting to go home and nap with the puppies and possibly visit the family